I will never, ever tell you that I’m glad my husband had an affair. Nor would you ever expect me to. When I tell you though that so much good has come from it, that is in effect what I’m telling you and I just cannot wrap my brain around this bittersweet irony.
The post I’m referring to has had over 10 times the readership of nearly all of my others. You guys read it and read it and read it. So did Thought Catalog, and then they published it. Why am I telling you this? Because there is value in this post and we can use it for good out there in the world. I know that because many of you wrote to me in heartfelt response to it, or told me in person how it helped you, and now it’s out there on Thought Catalog’s big, beautiful platform for the rest of the world to read. But the internet is vast and content gets buried and lost right quick. And so I need your help.
Once upon a time, I expected my husband and my marriage to meet my every need, fill every void, soothe every fear, supply all my joy… do you see where I’m going with this? I’ve filed this version of insanity away in my, ‘what the hell was I thinking?’ folder. It’s a fatty.
I never thought about what I would do if my husband cheated on me. Because I never thought he would. I had no game plan, no plan of attack, no A or B, nothing. Throughout the years, no matter our difficulties, his faithfulness was the one thing I was always sure of. That surety was not so much a testament to me and my astounding capabilities as wife, but to him and the man I believed him to be. I never thought it necessary to ponder infidelity occurring in our marriage. Clichés are so cliché, but there is good reason to never say never.